Preventing Tinder-itis: How to Avoid Dating App Burn Out

The following guest post was written by Jess Ritchie, a freelance copywriter and editor who helps people use their words. She believes in knowing, liking and communicating your true self. You can find Jess at www.NaturalCopywriting.com.

Interested in doing a guest post for The Cha Cha Club? Contact Me.

 

Preventing Tinder-itis: How to Avoid Dating App Burn Out

I admit it….I’ve been Tinder-ing!!

I used to HATE online dating. It was time consuming and frustrating. But I’m giving it another go. This time I wanted different results so I’m taking a different approach!

And I’m enjoying it. No stress. It takes as much time as I let it. I’m setting boundaries. I refuse to accept boys. I want a man. So do you right? Or you wouldn’t be here?!

 

Tinder

Get the most out of Tinder and avoid dating app burn out with this approach

Trust me ladies, I’ve made many classic mistakes in dating: chasing men, trying to make them like me, holding onto the wrong guys. Reading The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto was a game changer for me. I still make mistakes, but I’m learning way faster. If my mistakes can speed up your learning curve, let’s do it!

Wait – isn’t Tinder a hook up app?! Everything is a hook up app for some people. Tinder seems no better or worse than anywhere else. I’ve met some great men. I’ve hit some total d-bags. I find it quick and easy to use, and like that only mutual ‘likes’ can message me.

Trouble is, Tinder is so easy to use that you can easily hit overload and burn out. Slow and steady wins the race!

Preserve your energy: let the men sort themselves from the boys. I’ve systemized my approach – have a strategy, take the emotion out of decisions, stick to the plan. No exceptions!

Result? Out of my last 50 matches, 21 messaged me, and 6 real men have emerged. (defined by him issuing an invitation to meet, and executing a plan to make it happen). This is a solid result!

I invite you to join me in this new, low-stress way of Tindering! My strategy is below. Try it as is, then refine as you progress.

 

Preventing Tinder-itis:

 

Tinder

Prevent Tinder-itis: follow my strategy.

Day 1: swipe right in batches of 20

Pace yourself! If you swipe a hundred profiles and suddenly get two dozen messages, you’ll be overwhelmed. Take fifteen minutes, swipe right on 20, close the app.

I take the extra few seconds to look at all their pics and read any text, I find it useful. Up to you! Over time I find my at-first-glance instinct is getting more accurate.

Day 3: hide your profile

Wait 2 days to see who matches and messages. Then disable Discovery.

Reply to those who message you. Don’t start conversations yourself – remember, they are sorting themselves for you!

By hiding your profile now, you’ll be a fresh face when you go back in for the next round.

Day 5: will the real men please stand up

You’re messaging easily and naturally with the good ones.

Some conversations go nowhere fast. Don’t sweat it. When it feels like there’s nothing left to say, say nothing. You’ll feel it. Trust yourself!

Unmatch as you go – it keeps your focus clear and stops you wasting time!

“But won’t that seem rude?” No. Guys do it all the time. It’s efficient. Don’t overthink it.

(Read The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto on this topic and the importance of matching his effort levels and no more)

Day 7: ditch the silent types

Get them out of your mind and inbox!

After one week, unmatch anyone who hasn’t messaged you.

Don’t do what I’ve done and think ‘but….maybe he’ll message today…’ He won’t.  Stop torturing yourself, unmatch and move on!

Sophie and I recently talked about this over breakfast, she put it well: ‘He says he’s hungry, and you present him with a tasty dish. He doesn’t eat. Maybe he’s just not hungry after all?’

Men go after what they want, quickly. By matching a guy or replying to his messages, you give him a green light. He can then choose to proceed. Or not. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the food!

Every day: limit your Tinder time

I’ve spent a whole Monday on Tinder. Oops!!

Now I limit myself to 45 minutes a day. Set a timer. Stop. I also do stretches at the same time. Make it work for you!

 

Tinder

Set a timer or you could blow a whole day on Tinder like me.

When you’re ready: next batch!

By now the boys have sifted and you’re meeting the men. It might be another week or so before you feel complete on this batch.

There’s a lead time from match to meet, so factor in how busy you are and how many men you want to meet. When your app’s gone quiet and you feel ready for more: back to Day 1!

Top Tip: Tinder success is about letting go fast. Know your worth and follow the plan. Avoid Tinder-itis and have fun!

 

Jess Ritchie

 

Jess Ritchie is a freelance copywriter and editor who helps people use their words. She believes in knowing, liking and communicating your true self. You can find Jess at www.NaturalCopywriting.com.

 

 

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