How Sophie Got Her Cha Cha Back

How Sophie got her cha cha back

I confess; I lost my cha cha for about a month. A wise-ass told me I should look for it under the bed; it wasn’t there. I actually found it on a hike, but more about that later.

It all started innocently enough — back pain. But not just your run of the mill kinda pain. No this was…special. And not like “man cold” special. This was “slipped disc” special. If you’ve ever had a slipped disc, you know and understand my pain.

I had difficulty dressing. Driving. Sitting. Standing. Sleeping. Since most healing occurs during sleep and I couldn’t sleep…well, I was a mess. I got run down. I developed an annoying eye tic, then even more annoying bronchitis.

I stopped doing yoga and most of the things I enjoy because I was too miserable/tired/in pain. I stayed home and felt sorry for myself. I ate convenience food because I didn’t have the energy to shop and cook and clean. I put on eight pounds in a month. I started wearing my fat pants. I took painkillers to numb the pain; they made me depressed. I isolated myself.

I said no to girls’ nights out and yes to Netflix. I caught up on season three of “The Walking Dead” and read a romance novel in one day. Easter dinner was really special; microwaved turkey wieners + strawberry milk + cheese popcorn and more Netflix.

I stopped doing activity because I was afraid of making things worse. I stopped socializing because I felt depressed.

I don’t use that word depression lightly, but when you stay in bed for an entire day, weeping and worried and feeling helpless there is no other way to describe it.

I lost my cha cha. Big time.

I could feel the sexiness and confidence slipping away; I could observe what was happening to me but felt unable to actually do anything about it. I kept rationalizing I’d sort it all out. The next day. Week. Month. Once my back was better. Once I got over my cold. Once I lost weight. I told myself that this was a “tough time”, and I needed to be kind to myself. (Kind usually means permission to eat lots of crap food and not feel guilty about it.)

I kept waiting to feel better – and I wasn’t. A friend told me that I should make sure one of the side effects of the painkillers wasn’t depression. I had a hunch it was, and started cutting back on the meds. I couldn’t cut back on the sweets though, I had a serious sugar addiction going on and I worried that if I didn’t kick it I’d be upping a dress size soon.

I couldn’t deny the truth any longer; I was letting my back problems run my life. I had to get my cha cha back and I couldn’t just wait for it to happen on its own. When previously mentioned friend asked me out on a hike on the weekend I said yes. I could at least try. If my back wasn’t up for it, I could turn around. I was scared though; what if the hike made things worse?

My friend picked me up in her Subaru and we drove to the base of the snow-covered mountain. She brought her friend’s dog, and I was glad for the furry company. It was slow hiking – I had to stop a few times and each time I could hear my heart pounding like a drum in my ears. My friend was patient and the dog even more so. We made it to the top in record slow time: one hour and 45 minutes; about 30 minutes slower than usual. Whatever. I’d done it and I felt pleased and surprised that my back wasn’t bothering me at all. In fact, what I feared most – more pain – never happened.

A total non-issue.

Let me just rewind that for a sec. That fear – fear of more pain – was a total non-issue. Which reminds me of the Tom Petty quote, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

Afterwards we enjoyed a soak in the local hot springs, at the foot of our mountain. The snow fell around us gently. My friend smiled in delight when a “perfect snowflake” landed on my hair. She was infatuated with the snow flake. I was infatuated with the day.

And that’s how I got my cha cha back.

My slipped disc is nothing in comparison to other people’s troubles but because of it, I have more empathy for those who struggle with chronic pain. I am also reminded of how important it is to keep pushing the limits of what you *think* is possible. Mountains can be climbed simply by putting one foot in front of the other.

Next: Help! My man is disconnecting.

 

 

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Author Adele Frizzell/Sophie Winters

Sophie Winters is the author of two books on dating and relationships. Sophie’s real name is Adele Frizzell. She enjoys travel, hiking, and lifting heavy weights. She is a competitive bench presser, certified yoga teacher, and mountain addict. She loves inspiring people to get more out of life.

Her first book, The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto is written for all the single ladies, while her second relationship advice book, It’s Not You, It’s Us: A Guide for Living Together Without Growing Apart is for couples who want more joy, intimacy and respect in their relationship. She is working on her third book.


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